Women physicians - keepers of the family flame
The second bullet point in the Women Leaving Medicine Manifesto is “women physicians have the right to nurture their families to the extent they desire”.
Parents age and get frail.
Babies need nursing and nurture.
Kids act out when their parental attachment is threatened.
And physicians, both men and women, flame out in the absence of self-care.
Fundamental to being human are the “Maslow’s needs” of adequate sleep, love and belonging, and security and well-being of the family. These may be counterbalanced by needs such as financial security and self-respect — both of which may be challenged by the decision to quit medical practice for an alternative non-clinical career or to step away entirely from the workplace.
Ultimately, the decision to stick it out or to quit medical practice for at least a period of time is deeply personal.
An article titled “But will it make you happy?” in the New York Times this weekend scratched the itch that I have been feeling to downsize , declutter, simplify my life. In response, I spent 4 hours cleaning our junk from the garage yesterday. Talk about experiences bringing happiness! Despite my aching muscles and dusty nose, I felt hugely satisfied last night.
Why bring this up?
Because I believe we are making our decisions about work versus staying home with the family way too complicated.
And what the N.Y. Times article implies is that we are not very good at figuring out what makes us truly happy. We work hard, we acquire, we own, we want to give our kids more, we fear the loss of our standard of living, we suffer!
As a family member and member of the human race, you - dear Dr. MD - have the right to know, prioritize and act according to your core values.
The indomitable Eleanor Roosevelt, whom I greatly admire, offered two pieces of wisdom that inspire my stubbornness when I am worried about what others will think:
Image via Wikipedia
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
and…
Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.
What do you really, really want?
What are you willing to do to make “it” happen?
***************************
- The Bureaucratic Doctor (lifescript.com)
